15th January, 2013, GH-1, IIT Kanpur
In a miserable event that happened three days ago at IIT Kanpur, GH Hall Day, Chyotika was celebrated. On entering the hostel our reporter Bakait Patrakar was stunned. According to him a lot of HARD-work had been put in the making of the structures. As expected (and confirmed by him later) it had all been done by the workers of the hall!!
The performers were heavily applauded and have been signed for next movie by Yash Raj Productions. The team will also be giving a guest performance in “Step Up 5: Degradation”, along with Manali Gupta and Chal Goyal starring as the lead actresses. (Kitni baar bataoon the names have been changed!!)
In an ‘expected’ turn of events Pandeyji has been reported missing from Hall 5. Eyewitnesses report that Pandeyji (name UNCHANGED!) was caught red-handed (and brutally beaten) by itch-guards for whistling inside the GH premises.
Justin ‘Beaver’ was invited to perform on hall day but the residents of hall 2 demanded GH girls to perform instead. SHE tried to teach Hall 2 residents to ‘Never Say Never’ but SHE ultimately met the same fate as Pandeyji.
Now for the highlights – “The food was better than fodder”, a cow that ate the food, later told us. Many people got injured by falling from a bridge the workers had constructed, under the able guidance of Civil Engineers of GH. The famous Papita Sharma and a few other girls did not attend their own hall day and were found mugging up on the roof of library.
That day everyone in the IITK woke up with a dozen fucks and they slept with 12 fucks. So the number of fucks given to the GH hall day was zero. Overall, the hall day was a huge suck-cess. But “in the end it doesn’t even matter!”
**This news is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real events or persons, living or dead, is either purely coincidental or a misinterpretation.